


Recycling

by neveralarch



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-08
Updated: 2010-12-08
Packaged: 2017-10-19 07:33:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/198452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neveralarch/pseuds/neveralarch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reusing date ideas is maybe a bad idea. Or a really good idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recycling

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the best_enemies anonmeme. It's since been remixed by livii - you can read her story [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/189212).

This was a bad idea. He knew it was a bad idea, and it was, but he did it anyway. Why does he do these things?

The Doctor sighs, and answers his own question.

"I couldn't come up with anything else."

"What did you say, Doctor?" River half-turns to look at him. She's younger than he last knew her, and her hair is longer, but she still projects that air of knowing superiority that means she's ahead of his time line.

"Nothing," says the Doctor. He scrubs his hand through his hair. "You know, I've done this before. Took a girl to see her planet blow up. Bit of a mood-killer."

"Reusing date ideas?" says River. "Oh, Sweetie, how could you." She grins, and pushes open the TARDIS doors.

"I've even been here before," mutters the Doctor, following. "End of the universe sounds impressive, but I'm sure I'm just going to bump into someone I know, and it'll be very awkward, and I'm not great with awkward."

"You're very good at awkward," says River. "You just trample over it without even noticing it's there."

"That's what I mean," insists the Doctor. "I _know_ things are going to be awkward, so I can't ignore them. It's like the giant cephalopod in the room."

"Giant elephant in the room," corrects River. She's looking around at the refugees. The corridor is silent, despite the press of people. This close to the end, the Doctor's the only one tactless enough to be chattering.

"No, cephalopod. Giant elephants stomp and trumpet and make nuisances of themselves. Squid sit there and stare at you. Wetly. Accusingly." The Doctor shudders. "Remind me never to go back to that Teuthidan colony."

"Let's just go find some windows," says River. She's making that face that means the Doctor is babbling but she finds it endearing. The Doctor has a lot of mixed feelings about that face. "No good being at the end of the universe if you can't even see it."

"I know what this leads to," says the Doctor. "Sabotage and the sun melting everything. Why don't we just go? I've had some time to think, I've got better ideas now. What do you say to Woman Wept?"

"We went there last week. Come on."

"That's not fair, spoilers. Now I have to take you. I don't even like it there that much, it's freezing."

"Look," says River, looking over her shoulder. "I love you, but I am going to stomp your foot if you keep whinging."

"Watch where you're going," says the Doctor, but it's too late and River's already run into the familiar-looking middle-aged man carrying a box of electronic components.

"I am _so_ sorry," says River, helping the man pick things up.

"Not a problem," says the man, distractedly. "My fault, I was in a bit of a hurry."

"We'll have you on your way, then," says River. "There's the last bit." She sets it back in the box, still bent over, and grins as she catches the man looking carefully away from where the neck of her low-cut shirt allows a glimpse of her breasts.

"Thank you," says the man, flushing hotly, and grabs at the component. "Oh, dear," he says, embarrassment forgotten. "the capacitor's fallen out of sync. I'll have to take it apart completely and start again- ah!" He drops the component and brings his hands to his head, wincing with pain.

"Are you alright?" asks River. "Do you want us to get someone?"

"No, I'm fine," says the man, waving her away. "Just a headache, the stress-"

"Your name wouldn't happen to be Yana, would it? Professor Yana?" The Doctor's hearts tangle, one of them sinking and the other one struggling to rise.

"Yes?" says the man, opening his eyes again. "Do I know you?"

"Not yet," says the Doctor, checking his watch. "May I ask how old you are?"

"Thirty-five, give or take a few years," says Yana, staring. "What's going on?"

"River, we're too early." The Doctor turns to go, trying to ignore Yana's questioning eyes. "We'd better go back to the, uh." He stops as he tries to figure out how to phrase this so as to avoid triggering any premature Time Lord awareness. "We should go."

"And leave Yana alone with his broken capacitor?" asks River, eyes glinting. She always gets like this when she suspects the Doctor is hiding something from her. "Doctor, it was my fault that it got damaged."

"I'm perfectly capable of fixing it," insists Yana. "If you have to go-"

"Fine," says the Doctor, well aware that if he leaves now River will never let him hear the end of it. "We'll help him, and that's all. No funny business."

"Of course," says River. "Yana?"

"My labs are down this corridor," he says, raising his eyebrows and leading the way.

\---

The Doctor's not sure how River went from 'no funny business' to 'stick your hand down the nice professor's trousers.' Despite his confusion, he's still relatively certain that he should be protesting. Timeline confusion is a very serious problem. He should not be on his knees with Yana's cock in his mouth and River's hand on his back.

The problem is, River doesn't understand that this is exactly the sort of incident to really annoy your not-quite-ex-lover. The sort of incident that prompts him keeping you in a cage for the better part of a year because "you'll only fuck me when I'm missing most of my brain."

On the other hand, that whole episode makes a lot more sense now. And the consequences have already happened, so why not take Yana a little bit deeper?

River pulls the Doctor off by the scruff of his neck instead, proving that she really doesn't understand at _all_.

"Come on, Sweetie, on your feet and put this on. Yana, you too."

Yana takes the condom and starts unwrapping it automatically, his eyes still a little unfocused.

"Are you with me, Yana?" River touches his shoulder.

"Mmh."

"I want you to fuck me while the Doctor fucks you. Is that okay? Do you want something else?"

"That sounds absolutely wonderful," says Yana, waking up at last. "Let me clear off one of these work tables..."

"This would be a lot easier if you had a bed in here," says the Doctor. "Not that there's anything wrong with having sex on stainless steel tables, exactly, but they're a little chilly when you're all worked up."

"You won't even touch the thing," says River, rolling her eyes. She hops up to sit on the space that Yana has cleared and then leans back, letting her hair tumble onto the displaced piles of paper that didn't make it all the way off of the table.

"I think I'm coming to appreciate the mad hedonism of the end of days," muses Yana. "May I?" His hands hover over River's bare chest with unfeigned politeness. She covers his hands with her own, pulling him to her breasts.

"Hurry up, Doctor," she calls. "This is not a spectator sport."

"Yes, yes," says the Doctor, still searching through River's jacket for the ever-present lube. "Aha! I'll be right there."

"I think this is one of the best things that has ever happened to me," says Yana, bending forward to accommodate the Doctor's fingers. His breathing stutters as River takes advantage of his new position to reach a hand down and guide his cock into her.

"I would really appreciate it if you would remember that in the years to come," says the Doctor. "Remember me fondly, not as someone to turn into a wizened gnome."

"What?" says Yana. He moans as the Doctor's fingers twist and withdraw.

"Ignore him," says River. "He babbles when he's horny. And when he's not horny. All the time, actually."

"I do not," says the Doctor, regardless of the fact that he does. He lines himself up, adjusting the condom a little. "Right. Geronimo!"


End file.
